


I’ve got thick skin (and an elastic heart)

by littlemissstark315



Series: We’re not friends; we’re family [1]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Anal Sex, Based off sias song “elastic heart”, Church is the voice of reason, Felix is trash and does bad things, Justice for Maine, M/M, Nightmares, PTSD, Sex, Tucker is a badass, attenpted rape, but I still like him, sigma is a prick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-06-30 11:22:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15750669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlemissstark315/pseuds/littlemissstark315
Summary: David Washington has had his fair share of relationships that all seem to end in betrayal or heartbreak (or both) and now it’s so hard to trust, to try, even though he’s fallen in love with Tucker, he keeps his distance, pretends those feelings aren’t there. If only tucker could do the same with his own feelings for the ex-freelancer.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> An angsty Drabble of Wash and his past romantic relationships and how they didn’t work until he found Tucker but by then he’s too scared to get into another again.

Maine is gone and The Meta has taken his place

It was hard to ignore the hurt, the betrayal, even if he knows Maine wasn’t making those choices. It was all Sigma, feeding him false guidance and lies, playing puppet master in his head.

The first time he knew how far gone Maine was, was their last night together.

Wash was never one for sex, not often anyway. And Maine knew that. Always let wash start anything and had it at his pace.

But while they were in Maine’s bunk Sigma took over. He had Maine pin Wash to the bed, using his hulk of a body to pin wash’s body.  
  
Wash struggled but sigma had his wrists pinned and engulfed. He was terrified but he tried desperately to keep his own anxiety under control. “Please, Maine this isn’t you. You can fight this.”

There was a stall in Maine’s movement, wash saw the terror in Maine’s eyes, he felt his grip loosen but Sigma gained control, bringing a hand to his neck, straggling him. He gasped and struggled for breath as Sigma showed himself. “That will be enough out of you David. I won’t have you ruining my plans anymore.”

He tried to kick, struggle his way free but the grip from Maine’s large hand stayed tight.

Suddenly he was thrown off the bed, coughing and gasping. He saw Maine, not Sigma. Maine gave him another shove, to give him the message of get out of here, now!

He got to message loud and clear and ran out the door, going to his second closest friend next to Maine, Carolina. He panted as he got to her door, pounding it.

Carolina opened the door quickly, gun in hand but she softened when she saw Wash. “Wash, what’s going on?” His gasping and panting turned to tears, he’s not sure why. Maybe it was anxiety, maybe it was the horror of Sigma taking control of Maine, nearly killing him. He felt like a child, sobbing in her door way.

She brought him inside, closing the door and making him some tea.  
He calmed enough to talk but Carolina could see how affected he is by whatever happened.

“Can you tell me what the hell just happened?” Wash took a long gulp of his tea. Grey eyes red and watery. “Sigma has control. Maine’s been fighting him off since his installment, I knew he was trouble. He’s been playing puppet master and I think he has full control now. He just had Maine try to rape and kill me.”

Carolina looked away with a glare before looking at Wash. “Are you gonna be ok?” “I’ll be fine.” Wash said a little too quickly. “I’m just worried about Maine. I can’t imagine what he’s going through; I wish I could have helped him better.” His voice thick, nearly cracking.

“Wanna watch a movie?” Carolina suggested. She was never great with the emotional stuff. Wash agreed and half way through Frozen he had fallen asleep on her shoulder. She felt a protective urge fill her, seeing him asleep. He was always the more naïve of their group, wasn’t the best fighter but always tried, was always there when someone needed him. She thinks it’s about time someone was there for him.

For a week Maine and Wash avoided each other, any time Maine got close Carolina was near Wash in a heartbeat which sent Maine away. Wash wasn’t sure if he should be mad Carolina is acting like a mama bear and scaring Maine off when it’s the rare time it might be himself or thankful that someone feels the need to protect and care for him.

It all came crashing down during a group sparing session. Wash always was a wall flower at these, watching his teammates fight and make jokes. It was nice. He always preferred one on one sessions.

The door to the training room opened and everyone saw Maine walk in, no armor. Wash noticed he was wearing a tee shirt he bought him.

He started walking closer. “Maine-“ Carolina was next to him. “Wash, remember what he did.” Wash turned to Carolina. “That wasn’t Maine Carolina, that was Sigma.”

Maine started using sign language to Wash, signing out “I love you.” Wash felt his eyes well up. “I love you too.” Maine’s hands trembled with the next letters. “I’m sorry for hurting you. Forgive me.” Maine then brought a gun he was hiding in his waistband, bringing it to his chin. Wash felt the urge to run over and Carolina must have know because she had a hold on his arm. “Don’t.”

Maine’s hand trembled with the gun, finger on the trigger until Sigma pointed the gun at Wash, shaking himself. “David, so naïve. Did you really think anything of him is left?” He pulled the trigger and Carolina pushed Wash out of the way, taking the bullet in her shoulder with a cry of pan, the others shooting the foam at Maine to keep him contained which worked. Sigma had him struggle but it was no use.

Wash saw Carolina bleeding, going to her. “Carolina! Are you ok?” She sat up, holding her armored shoulder, bleeding down the blue. “I’m fine, caught my shoulder.”

Wash pushed away the thought and image of Maine attempting to kill himself, pretending he didn’t know the pain Maine must have gone through just for that moment only to have Sigma take over.

As he threw the hook to Simmons he ignored the hurting, nagging thought that he was helping kill one of his closest friends, his lover but maybe that’s what Maine wants in the end; peace.

He had nightmares after that. He found himself at Carolinas room more and more often, needing someone to talk to, to lean on, to watch a movie.

She started it, after a particularly bad nightmare. He found himself at her door and watching a movie. The norm. But she was just a little closer. Her hand resting on his thigh and head on his shoulder; feeling hot breath against his neck.

Suddenly there were callused fingers on his face, turning him and lips meeting his. It wasn’t rough, it wasn’t the crash of lips most people think about when finally kissing someone out of the blue but it wasn’t gentle either.

He was in shock when she pulled away. He tried to form words but all that came was “uhhh what was that?” “That, you idiot was a kiss. Want to do more of it?” Wash swallowed, he had never really thought of being with her like that but the idea did sound nice.

He leaned in, closing the gap between them and kissing back. She smiled into it, bringing her hands around his neck, keeping him close as she took the kiss over, her tongue invading his mouth with the same ferocity as her combat.

He moaned softly, he liked to be manhandled. That’s half the reason it worked out so well with him and Maine.

Seconds later she had him on his back, taking his shirt off and he didn’t want to ruin the moment by telling her no so he went along with it.

But apparently that was her norm in a relationship After the third night as a couple, he told her no. She just kinda gave him a raised eyebrow. “Is something wrong?” Wash swallowed, not wanting to start a fight. “No, nothing’s wrong, I just don’t want to. I’ve never been a big sex person, it’s not a priority to me.” “So, What? You want to just watch a movie and snuggle?” Wash blushed, feeling embarrassed when she worded like that. “Yeah, I think that sounds nice.” She didn’t fight him, they put on Mulan and cuddled on her couch.

For weeks Carolina tried to start sex with Wash only for Wash to turn it away. She almost started a fight with him, why doesn’t he want her? Isn’t she good enough? The need to win at everything followed her often. While Wash was away, Church took his time to show himself from her helmet she always kept with her for this reason.

“Ya know, I would give Wash a break if I were you.” Carolina turned to him as she was getting her chips. “A break? I just wish he would talk to me. Why doesn’t he want me?” “I don’t think that’s an issue.” “Then what is the issue Church? Since you seem to be all knowing.” “I think you two just aren’t on the same wavelength. He already said sex isn’t a priority for him and it’s getting a bit cruel to keep pressuring him into it. The guy can be a bit too nice if you haven’t noticed.”

“Then what do I do?” “You could break up with him.” She glared at him and he shrugged. “What? It’s obvious it’s not working out, why not let him go find someone that fits him?” Carolina sighed. “Fuck, I hate when your right.” “I’m always right.” “Fuck off. Fine. I’ll try to break things off gently.”

When it was time for bed (at lest the mandatory time to stay in your bunks) he always bunked with Carolina. Wash walked in and she was at the door, looking guilty. “Wash, can we talk?” Wash frowned, feeling like he already knew what it was. “Yeah, What is it?” He said as he started to take his armor off. He had his helmet off when she said it. “I think we should break up.”

She felt like she could already hear Church, in her head. Smooth one Carolina. Real smooth.

With his helmet off she could see how hurt he looked but hid it away. “You know, I knew this was going to happen at some point but-“ he cut himself off, putting his helmet back on. Carolina frowned. “But what?” “It’s nothing. I’ll go back to my old bunk, give us some time to process, I hope things won’t be awkward between us.” “You can still come to me if you have nightmares. I’m still your friend.” Wash just nodded and turned, walking back out the door.

Once back in his room, he locked the door and took his armor off carefully, ignoring the hurt. Once he was down to just his under armor, he felt the ache working it’s way up. The Armor acting as a wall between him and his emotions.

He felt like a child, he and Carolina didn’t date more than two weeks and most of those days she was either pressuring him into sex or risking starting a fight. But he wanted it to work, so badly. He was to tired of being alone, of sleeping alone.

He went through the motions of brushing his teeth, getting a shower and climbing into bed, letting his depression overwhelm him, eat him up so maybe he won’t have to feel anything when the nightmares come back.

He didn’t sleep that night. Or the night after. And Tucker noticed when wash didn’t seem to yell at them with the same fire but chose not to say anything.

Wash, whenever he would try to sleep would wake up in a cold sweat, nausea in his throat and fear gripping his chest.

He would go to the mess hall or lounge area, just trying to get his mind off of the nightmares.

He never felt hungry when he got to the mess hall, feeling oddly naked without his armor, just pajamas.  
“You’re up too?” Wash nearly jumped, turning from the fridge to see Tucker, wearing just his pajama pants, leaving his chest bare, showing off his hard work from the army.  
Wash stammered. “Y-yeah.”

Tucker walked closer, getting a small bag of chips from the counter. “You’ve been off for a while now dude, everything ok?” Wash swallowed. “Fine, just can’t sleep.” Tucker nodded as he opened the bag of chips. “You know, I know we don’t get along sometimes but if you ever need someone to talk to, my room isn’t far.” Wash gave a weak smile. “Thank you. What brings you to the mess hall at two in the morning?”

Tucker sighed as he leaned against the counter, bag of chips in hand. Wash is certain he got them from the back, labels “Grifs” But didn’t say anything. “Honestly? I miss my kid. I’m missing junior.” Wash raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t know you had children.” Tucker huffed out a little laugh. “Yeah, his…conception and birth were…odd at best.” Tucker pulled out a picture of Junior he carries everywhere.

Wash took a gentle hold and was even more surprised. “Oh. He’s an alien.” “Yeah. Apparently their species procreate by implanting a parasite-like thing. They don’t care who or what gender.” Wash frowned. “I’m sure that couldn’t have been easy.” Tucker sighed, taking the picture back. “No but you know I understand how moms feel now, it was a lot of pain and recovery but I’d do it again. I love that little guy.” Wash smiled softly. “Where is he now?” “He’s with others of his own species, a long-term daycare center. The frontlines of an army is no place for a kid. We talk about once a week over video-phone.” “That’s good.” Tucker took a chip in mouth, crunching as it ate it. “So what about you? Why can’t you sleep?”

Wash shrugged. “Just nightmares. They wake me up and I have a hard time getting to sleep. I had a coping mechanism but it no longer works.” He’s not sure he can go back to Carolina after their disastrous few weeks of a relationship.

Tucker just nodded as he ate another chip. “A lot of others have nightmares here. I know Cabbose and Grif do, Caboose is obvious about them. He talks to everyone about them even if they don’t want to hear it, Grif is like you but worse. I know he’ll never admit to having nightmares like the rest of us but I hear him at night. Simmons helps, I think he’s sworn to secrecy.” Tucker said with a chuckle. Wash smiled as well, a little more genuine, feeling he wasn’t alone.

They talked for a few more hours, Wash finding out Tucker played guitar in high school and almost joined a band, his favorite food is McDonalds cheeseburgers.

Wash yawned, starting to feel tired again. Tucker chuckled. “I’ll let you get going. It’s just enough time to get in four hours before wake up.” Wash nodded as he stood from the table. “I guess I’ll see you in a few hours Tucker. Have a good rest of your morning.” 


	2. Chapter 2

Tucker started dropping hints every day. At every available opportunity. He’s had a bit of a crush on Wash for quite some time. Maybe even when they met and states to squabble. As much as it got his blood boiling, it also got it moving south and he thanked god he was in armor most of the time around the ex-freelancer.

Any time he and Wash would be in the same room he would try to flirt,make conversation, show it in a way he likes him without being obvious, Wash would appreciate that.

But with each small flirt and asking if he would want to go shooting with him or patrol together, he would always decline or have a very non-flirty answer to his very flirty question. He was 100% doing it on purpose. Wash couldn’t be that dense could he?

So he focused on just being there and establishing a solid friendship. This is the first relationship in a while that he actually wants to work out. Actually wants to make the shorter man happy.

He managed to get him to agree to a movie night with the rest of the reds and blues. Everyone huddled around the tv, finding a spot on the couch. Tucker managed to get Wash to sit next to him right in the middle (he’d have to thank Grif later for making sure to keep it open for him, the only one he’s been telling his wooing plans to)

It was Jaws that got picked, which isn’t a bad movie, he has satisfied with the pick. The popcorn bowl got passed around until it landed on Tucker’s lap. He offered some to wash who was sitting so close their knees were touching (the couch was a bit crowded, which made his plan easier) Tucker waited until the movie reached its halfway point when he made the excuse of having to stretch his arms. Stretching the arm next to Wash and planting it gently on his tee shirt covered shoulder.

Wash blushed and Tucker pretended he didn’t notice but it was hard, the blush brought out his freckles and made him look younger than he was, it was too fucking adorable. Tucker wanted to kiss the look off him but he kept himself in control.

Once the movie was over and Wash had an escape, he nearly ran to his bunk before tucker to could try any other move. He could feel his anxiety finally catching up to him as he slammed his door shut, getting his breathing under control.

Then the tears started.

He felt like he was in high school again. He knew he liked Tucker and Tucker likes him, which he makes obvious every single day. Wash isn’t stupid but he plays it in hopes he will stop, forget about him and find someone less broken. He likes Tucker as much as he liked Maine when they first got together and that scared him. He doesn’t want another Maine or Carolina. He doesn’t want to be hurt again.

But Tucker kept At it for weeks. Wash eventually decided the only way to end it is to avoid him, which he didn’t like. He lov-cared about Tucker, a lot. They’ve grown closer and wash knows he absolutely loves him, would do anything to protect him and make him happy but he also doesn’t want Tucker to use him as another notch in his belt of lays and he’s too scared find out if he’s proven right or wrong.

Play it safe, stick to routine, avoid Tucker and bury your feelings down deep where you can pretend they don’t exist.

Eventually Tucker had enough. He’s known wash isn’t stupid enough to not see his interest. He’s one of two people he actually would settle down for. Wash and there was a girl in high school he thought was the one.

He keeps trying invite him to go shooting, patrol together, get lunch together and all were shot down. After the movie night, wash seemed to keep his distance and he worried that maybe the ex-freelancer wasn’t interested and Carolina shot that down quickly.

While she was reloading while shooting with Tucker, he brought up His issue. She nearly laughed. “Seriously? You think he’s not interested?” “Well why else would he be avoiding me?” Church popped out from her helmet. “You really are a grade A dumbass Tucker.” Tucker flipped him off. “Fuck off. Excuse me if I actually like the guy and want to try an actual relationship.” “He’s probably scared.” Church said.

Tucker raised an eyebrow. Not that they could see it with armor on. “Scared of what? Love?” “Exactly! You just answered your own question. Wash has been through a lot, it ended badly with The Meta-“ “Wait! He dated the Meta?!” Carolina sighed. “This is a bit of a long story.” “And one you should know if you continue to pursue him.” Church finished.

Wash was laying in bed, just trying to sleep, willing sleepiness to consume him when there was a knock on his door. “Who is it?” He called out. “It’s Tucker, I want to talk.” Wash tensed. Talking to Tucker meant he knew he was avoiding him and was here to talk directly about it. But he also didn’t want to be a total asshole so he got up and opened the door in his pajamas.

  
Tucker was taken aback by the sight of Wash in his fucking taco cat shirt that’s a size too big and spongbob pajama pants, blonde hair muddled from what he assumes is sleep but his blue eyes were too alert to have been woken up. How does the man manage to look this fucking adorable? He couldn’t help himself. He did come to talk but fuck it, this idea seems way better and he can’t avoid him this time.

Tucker quickly grabbed wash, crashing his lips to his, his hands holding his head, fingers tangling in blond hair.

Wash was in shock, to shocked to push him away, his body fighting if he even should, he’s wanted this for so long but what if this ends in disaster? Tucker pulled away, lips shiny and kiss swollen. Wash was panting. “What the hell was that?” Tucker’s hands moved to his hands. “Telling you I love you. You idiot.” Wash was quiet, face red and he felt the urge to run but he forced himself to stay there.

Tucker continued. “So after weeks of trying to let you know I like you I’ve had enough. I’m not going to be subtle anymore.” “You were subtle to begin with?” Wash said with a small smile. Tucker grinned. “I tried, that’s what counts.” Wash looked away, taking away his hands, needing some space.

“Look Tucker, I’m just not sure if I’m ready for this kind of heartbreak again. My last two relationships didn’t go so well.” “Carolina told me, along with threatening to kill me if I hurt you.” Wash looked away. “Then you’ll understand why this can’t happen.” Tucker moved closer. “I do but I want to give this a chance, I want to prove to you that I’m not gonna leave. I might have been a horn dog at some point but that doesn’t mean I’m not loyal, especially to those I care about. Especially to you.”

Wash almost glared. “This cant happen. I’m sorry.” “Why not? Why can’t you give me a chance?” Tucker pleaded. “Because I don’t want to be another notch on your belt.” Wash felt guilty as soon as he said it, snapped it actually. He didn’t mean to sound so harsh. Tucker looked…hurt and wash hated that and he continued to dig his hole as his mouth to brain filter went into overdrive. “I know you used to get around and didn’t do relationships and I don’t want to be proven right if I take a chance.” Tucker was quiet and wash worried he’s fucked up their entire friendship. But then Tucker talked. “Fine. Guess I’ll see you around Wash.” And he left, leaving wash alone in his doorway.

It was Tucker’s turn to avoid wash and he did it for all of about two days before he went back to his old ways, trying to be romantic and offer dates, a night drinking (with what few bits of beer they have) and wash turned down each one.

Carolina eventually brought him aside one day and church being the one talking, mainly. “Dude, the fuck is your issue with wash? You told us he told you no.” “Yeah, cause he’s scared I’ll leave. I just want to show him I’m not.” “By pestering him every hour of the day?” “Shut up, like you have room to talk about any love life. You’re a hologram and you and Tex fought all the time.” “Not the point dumbass. Since I’m sorta locked in her helmet I can observe and I think you are going about this completely fucking wrong.” “What am I supposed to do?” “Just fucking be there for him. Be a friend. Show you’ve changed and that you’re not some easy lay anymore.”

And so tucker did what church said, although he will never admit that. He stopped asking Wash on dates and patrols, starts finding him in the mess hall at 2AM because they because they both can’t sleep and just talked about nothing and everything.

But then Felix showed up.

And tucker felt himself drawn toward him, like a moth to a flame and that both worried and intrigued him. He cracked jokes, was the most bad ass fighter he’s ever seen (sorry Carolina) and always showed up at the right time.

When Tucker walked into the mess hall at he and Wash had unofficially meet-up time of 2am. he heard chuckling…from wash. He walked in further and saw Felix and Wash, out of armor and apparently Felix made Wash laugh. Tucker felt a flutter in his stomach when he saw the bright smile that never seemed to come out. Why couldn’t he make him smile like that?

Felix saw Tucker in the doorway. “Ah Private Tucker, I was just regaling Agent Washington here with some of my many stories, care to join?” Tucker felt like he should. He didn’t know why. Was it jealousy or did he have a bad feeling about Felix? He wasn’t able to distinguish it so he decided to grab a snack and sit with the pair. Wash gave him a smile. Seeming happy he joined them.

Felix started on another battle story, this one was darker, full of death and lost men. Wash had his hands on the table, mug of tea in hand when at the end of the story Tucker saw Felix gently touch Washs hand, to make a point but he saw how Wash tensed up and moved his hands to under the table, keeping the same expression.

Tucker kept an extra eye on Felix after that. He noticed he floated around Wash a lot but not so much it could be considered odd. It was odd to tucker because wash wasn’t the most social person in this army.

He noticed how Felix would always touch his shoulder or back, seemed to make himself familiar with him when he barely knew him. And he sees how Wash shrugs away the touches and tensed up anytime he can’t.

It was pissing Tucker off that he couldn’t do anything about it, he wasn’t wash’s boyfriend (yet) so he couldn’t even claim to get away from my man or something. But Felix isn’t actually doing anything wrong so he can’t go punch his face either. He was trying to be his friend, not his love interest.

But he never expected what Felix did.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Tucker has to hand it to Felix, he was one persistent bastard and Tucker was livid any time he saw Felix touch wash in any way, especially since he could tell the touches were not wanted. Any time Felix had an opportunity, he was touching wash. His hands, arms, lower back, even one point he saw his hand on his upper thigh, wash pushing the offending hand away only to have it spring back like a coiled spring, maybe even an inch higher.

But tucker ignored it, gave Wash space to deal with it himself and not coming in to save him like some damsel in distress. Wash was anything but. He was a decent fighter, maybe not the best of freelancers but if needed he could get out if most situations but Felix was a different situation that Tucker has learned to absolutely loathe.

Eventually Wash got verbal about how much he didn’t like Felix touching him. Telling him to stop, telling him to quit it or cut it out and Felix would listen for all of about a few hours. He even overheard Felix calling wash “David” he saw the fearful look on wash’s face before retreating to somewhere quietly.

He wanted to strangle Felix right there but he was on their side, he didn’t want to be written up because he lost his cool over a name.

It was a week after that, during one of the teams movie nights, that it seemed to all snap. Wash had excused himself from the movie, Felix getting handsy as he normally did, no matter how much Wash protested.

Tucker watched as a minute later Felix got up as well. Excusing himself. Tucker watched him leave and counted how long he and Wash were gone for.

Eventually he got too worried and excused himself as well, going in search of the two.

He searched the mess hall and other surrounding areas, nothing to be found. He decided to go check Wash’s bunk, see if he’s there and hope they both left for their own reasons and not what he thinks is going on.

But as he got to Wash’s bunk he heard yelling and struggling, even with the door closed.

“Stop! Get off me!”  
“Just relax David, I know you want this.”   
“Fuck you! I said no! What part are you not understanding?!”

Tucker tried to open the door but it was locked. But the more he heard Wash struggle and cry, he more angry he got. He tried to slam it open with his shoulder but it didn’t budge but it did make Felix stall and shout out. “Hey, leave us the fuck alone! It’s private time!” Tucker nearly growled as he got distance and brought his foot into the door, kicking it open in three tries.

What he saw made him see red. Felix had Wash pinned in such a way he could hardly fight back. Wash may have been a good fighter but Felix was better and knew exactly how to use it.

He had washs pants and boxers down around his knees, exposing him completely, Felix’s own hips were grinding down against Washs hips, thankfully he still had his own pants on but dear god This was not how he wanted to see Wash naked.

Wash looked absolutely terrified, tears falling down the sides of his face, he was visibly shaking and Tucker had enough. He stomped over to Felix, who started to attempt to fight back too late when Tucker grabbed him by his shirt and threw him to the floor were he proceeded to punch Felix as hard and often as he could.

Felix managed to get out, bringing a good punch to Tucker’s face when they both froze, hearing the click of a gun being cocked.

They both looked, seeing wash sitting up, looking terrified and still half naked from the waist down, the gun pointed directly at Felix. His voice was thick and shaky as he spoke. “Get out of my room now before I claim I shot you in self-defense.” Felix glared at them both. “Fine. You’re a fucking waste of space anyway.” Tucker almost went to punch him again but didn’t want to reignite the situation and let Felix leave.

He turned to Wash who dropped the gun, heaving gulping lungfuls of breaths, nearly sobbing with each one as his panic attack took over.

Tucker moved quickly, not caring that wash may be exposed right now, he brought a blanket over him to give him some privacy before wrapping his arms around him. Wash melted into him, sobbing into Tucker’s shoulder.   
Tucker gently rocked him, shushing softly. “I got you, you’re safe, no ones going to hurt you.”

Eventually Wash calmed enough to make himself decent and have a drink of water, courtesy of Tucker.

Wash drank the whole glass in four gulps before just holding it in his hands. He was still shaking, tucker could see it in his hands. Tucker still had his arms around him. “Want to stay in my bunk tonight? I feel like you staying here would just be cruel.” Wash nodded, wiping tears away from his eyes. “Probably a good idea. I’m not sure I can come back here. I may need a new room.” “We can talk to Kimball about it in the morning. Along with reporting that fucker. Com’on, I can make you some tea and we can just relax.”

They went to the mess hall, tucker starting a tea kettle as Wash sat silent. Tucker nearly jumped when wash started taking . “How did you know he was up to no good?” Tucker shrugged, sitting next to him. “I just noticed how you reacted to him. I kept an eye on him because of this reason. I was hoping it was just paranoia or jealousy but I hate being right. Are you doing ok?” Wash felt his eyes water. “I don’t know. He called me David.” “Well Yeah. That’s your name.” “You don’t understand. Carolina told you about how me and Maine dated?” “Yeah.”

Wash stared at the table, wiping away tears with a shaking hand. “Well Sigma, the one who turned Maine into The Meta. Into a monster, called me David. Felix did too. I hate it. I hate being called that.” Tucker reached out gently, holding wash’s hand like glass. “If it helps, at all, I’m sorry, about everything. You don’t deserve this kind of hurt.” Wash gave a weak smile. “Thanks for being here. It’s been a long time since I’ve had someone to lean on.” Tucker smiled, feeling the urge to bring Washs hand to his lips and kiss his knuckles but he resisted. “You always have me.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wrote this pretty much all on my phone (as I do most of my work) and editing on it can be very touchy so sorry for any grammar mess-ups. It was probably my phone and it’s too annoying to fix.

Shortly after their tea Wash and Tucker went to Tucker’s bunk. Wash brought his pillow and a few blankets, feeling like a kid going to a sleep over. He felt like he should be embarrassed, he had a comforter (which was a gift from York after he found out his love for cats) that had a bunch of cute, anime looking cats on it but Tucker never joked about it or said anything, he just smiled at it and helped Wash get settled in.

He took the pillow from Washs hands before starting to put it on his bed when Wash stopped him. “I can sleep on the floor. It’s no issue, I’ve slept in worse spots.” Tucker gave him a look. “I’m not allowing you to sleep on the hard floor. How about I get your mattress from your room, sound good? I can put that on the floor and at least feel a little better about it.” Wash gave him a weak smile, still feeling the lingering effects of Felix’s bad touches. “Sure.” Tucker smiled and Wash’s stomach did flip flops. “Ok cool, I’ll be back in a flash.”

Now wash really hated himself. With Tucker gone he felt his anxiety creep it’s way up, thinking Felix may be just around the corner now that he’s alone.

He sat on Tucker’s bed and stared hard at the open doorway, feeling his blood becoming jumpy and jittery as his hands began to shake.

When Tucker came through the door, mattress carried awkwardly, huffing as he placed it on the ground. He saw Wash, seeing how terror stricken he looked, gripping the edges of the bed, eyes never leaving the doorway, his whole body poised to pounce but terrified.

Tucker moved to him, holding his shoulders, shaking him gently. “Wash, hey, he’s not coming back.” Wash swallowed, blue eyes filling up. “He could. He’s still on the base. He could come back at anytime.” “He’ll have to go through me, I promise, you’re safe here. Just breath, ok?” Wash spoke shakily. “Close and lock the door? Please?” Tucker nodded, going over to the door, closing and making sure the lock was loud enough for wash to hear.

Wash seemed to relax but was still on edge. Tucker sat next to him, bringing his arms around him, letting him melt into him. Wash spoke softly, voice raspy from his tears. “Why are you helping me like this?” Tucker let out a soft, amused sound. “Because I love you, you idiot.” Wash was quiet for a full ten seconds before he let it sink in. “Oh.”

Tucker chuckled softly. “Yeah, Oh.” Wash was too far gone to think about that. His mind a jumble of Felix’s bad touches, his words, flashing back to Sigma. He wasn’t sure if he would be able to sleep, not for a while. “Think we could stay up? Just talk? I don’t want to go to sleep.” “Sure but we’re laying down, my back hurts already.” They both laid down on bed, wash in the protection of Tucker’s arms as Tucker and wash both gave their life stories to each other and then some.

By 3AM they were sitting up, against the wall and smiling, laughing at the stupid situation tucker had gotten into when he was ten. Tucker felt his heart leap at seeing wash smile. After the horror the Felix tried to put him through, he’s happy to see the ex-freelancer smiling and forgetting about it.

Wash yawned and tucker chuckled. “Want to try to sleep?” “Is it ok if I stay here?” “Of course. Don’t even need to ask dude.” Wash saw his forgotten cat blanket and mattress Tucker brought in, seeing them on the floor. “I’m sorry, I guess I had you get my mattress for nothing.” “It’s ok. Really, I will do whatever makes you feel safe. How about we go brush our teeth?” Wash agreed and followed him out of the room to the coed bathroom down the hall to brush their teeth. The whole way Tucker held his hand and he never wanted to let it go.

When they got back, they snuggled in Tucker’s bed, Tucker bringing the cat blanket over them, not letting it go to waste. Wash had his head on Tucker’s chest, listening to his heartbeat when he spoke before thinking. “I love you too.” His eyes went wide as he felt tucker move.

Tucker had moved just enough to look him in the eye, hand caressing the side of his face. “Can I kiss you?” Wash felt himself blush. He felt like a girl in one of those romance movies that he hated. But he nodded, wanting to feel Tucker’s lips on his.

Tucker smiled before leaning in, kissing him softly, letting wash lead, not letting it go deeper than it was; a chaste kiss to show his affection. There would be time later when wash is recovered and ready for all the making out he wants, for now he relishes the moment, taking it all in while wash’s heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest. He kissed back softly, too scared to deepen it just yet. It was near 4am, he knew they were both exhausted and they had to be up at 7.

Once the kiss ended Wash went back to laying down, falling asleep quickly to the sound of Tucker’s heartbeat.

When they woke at 6:30, just enough time to brush their teeth and have a coffee, Wash felt his anxiety prickle against him. What if he sees Felix? What if Felix tries to confront him? Or tucker? What are the other troops going to think when they hear what happened?

“Hey, wash, it’s ok. Breathe ok? Felix isn’t going to hurt you, I promise. I won’t leave your side unless you want me to.” Wash took in large, shaking breaths, seeing Tucker in his signature colored armor made it a little easier. Something bright and positive to focus on. Tucker didn’t have his helmet on yet so wash could see the soft brown of his eyes, how concerned they look.

He calmed down and got changed into his armor, both putting their helmets on before walking out the door.

Tucker and Wash both kept an eagle eye out for Felix but he wasn’t anywhere to be seen but word got around fast about what happened, a few people praising Tucker for his actions and others insanely worried about wash because rumors always get spun differently. Apparently Felix had gotten a lot further before tucker showed up, people thinking wash was out of commission and in the medbay and other rumors said it was a big misunderstanding.

Carolina found wash, wanting an actual answer aside form the rampant rumors. She pulled him aside at lunch, away from tucker. “What the Hell happened last night? Did Felix hurt you? Cause I keep hearing a lot of rumors and I want the truth.” Wash took a breath, knowing Carolina will probably go on a murder spree looking for Felix. “Felix did try to force me into…certain intimate activities. But tucker managed to stop him before he got very far. I’m not hurt, I’m fine.”

Carolina was quiet and he knew, even through the armor that her blood was boiling. “He tried to rape you?” Wash swallowed the lump of anxiety, feeling weak hearing it said so bluntly out loud. “Yes.” “Where is he?” “Who?” “Felix.” She barked out. “ Where. Is. he?” She said sternly. “I don’t know. Tucker and I haven’t seen him all morning. That’s probably for the better.”

His words went unheard as she marched out of the room, looking for Felix. She talked to chuch, knowing he can still hear everything in her helmet. “I am going to rip his goddamn cock off before I rip out his spine!” She screamed as she walked.

Church popped out. “Carolina, calm down-“ she stopped in her tracks, staring at a church’s hologram. “Calm down?! He nearly raped wash! Why should I fucking calm down?!” “For one he’s on our side, if you kill him you could be Court Marshaled and arrested. I’m pissed too, I want him dead just as much but you can’t kill him.” “Can I at least beat him until even his mother can’t recognize him?” “I’ll allow it.”

She went to Kimball after church’s talk. “I’m sorry Carolina, I haven’t seen him either. He’s hasn’t reported in. Is wash ok? Should Grey look him over?” “Probably. He says he isn’t hurt but he likes to hide his injuries.” “I’ll send grey to fetch him then, tell her what happened. In the meantime, go about your regular duties.” Carolina was nearly growling. She hated how everyone seemed to treat this as if it was some normal occurrence, an injury in the field.

When Carolina saw Tucker, his arm around Wash, she saw red. She marched over, while church was yelling. “Whoa! Carolina! Stop!” She grabbed Tucker roughly, pinning him and his armor to the wall. “Where is Felix?!” Wash reacted quickly. “Carolina! Stop!” But it went on deaf ears as she interrogated Tucker. “Where the hell is Felix?! I know you have to know something so talk!”

Tucker glared at her but not that she could see through his helmet. “Why would I fucking protect that asshole? If I knew where he was I’d help you get back at him but I don’t.” Church floated by her in her field of vision. “He’s right Carolina, he has no reason to protect him. He’s the reason Felix fled in the first place. You should be thanking him for saving wash from him.”

Carolina let Tucker go, sighing. “You’re right church.” “Aren’t I always?” “Shut up.” She looked at Tucker. “I’m sorry for…that. He’s right, if you hadn’t found them, wash may not even be here. No offense wash.” Wash shrugged. She did make a point he didn’t want to think about. “So thank you tucker for saving my friend. If you happen to hear where Felix is-“ “you’ll be the first to know, if I don’t get to him first.” “ And tucker?” She said, remembering seeing wash and Tucker being intimate before she barged in. “Yeah?”

She got close to him, pointing a finger on his armor. “If you ever hurt wash, in any way, I won’t hesitate to chop your dick off and rip out your organs.” Tucker nodded, knowing she was probably serious about that threat. “Got it.” “Good. Then I’ll see you boys around. And wash? Go see Dr. Gray.”

Wash made a face under his helmet. “I already told you I’m fine.” “And I’m. Calling bullshit. Go to her and come back with a note that says your fine, then I’ll believe you.” Tucker looked at him. “She makes a good point. If you’re really fine it’ll only take a few minutes.” Wash grumbled. “Fine. If it’ll make you both happy.”

Tucker walked with him, feeling the urge to hold his hand like they were in elementary. They got to her office. She came over, spring in her step and voice perky. “Hello boys! What can I do for you today?” Tucker gently elbowed Wash, urging him to talk. Wash cleared his throat before speaking. “Uh I’m not sure if you heard the rumors about what Felix may or may not have tried to do to me.” “I have but it’s hard to pick out what’s truth and what is rumor mill. I did hear that he went running out of your room with a bloody face.” Tucker raised his hand. “Yo. That’s was me.”

Grey looked at wash. “So what happened?” “Uh.. well. He tried to force certain..intimate things with me.” “Oh gosh, you mean you were sexually assaulted?” “A bit but thanks to Tucker’s good observation he managed to save me before anything could have happened.” Grey nodded. “I can give you an examination real quick, if you could strip your armor and we can be done in a jiffy!”

Wash felt anxiety prickle up again. He hadn’t really inspected himself after the fact. He just let tucker take over and help him out. He didn’t even do any self-exam to check for any injuries he may have not known about. Tucker took his helmet off, placing it on a chair. “Hey, it’s ok wash. I’m right here.” Wash nodded, somehow feeling better seeing Tucker’s actual face and not just his helmet.

He started to strip away his armor as grey handed him a medical gown.

He came out with no injuries but a few bruises, mostly around his wrists where Felix had him pinned. Funny, wash doesn’t remember Felix holding him that tightly, so much fear and adrenaline must have been going through him to it feel it. Dr.grey smiled. “Other than some mild bruising you seem to be A-ok! I do recommend a therapist but only unless you think you need it. You seem to be handling it rather well, especially since tucker here seems to have taken up the mantle of helping.” Wash smiled at her. “Thank you, could you write me a medical note? Carolina insists I have one to prove I’m fine.” “Of course! I’m sure she’s just worried and that’s why she talked you into coming here. She might be all rage and fire on the outside but she really cares for you guys. Let me go get that note.” 


	5. Chapter 5

  
Tucker and Washington have been dating for a good four months and Washington was going crazy.

It’s been an amazing four months of having someone to laugh with, to sooth his nightmares and anxiety away, to kiss and hold hands on the couch during the annual movie night but that was where it seemed to end.

Tucker had been so supportive and caring with Wash and Wash is really, eternally grateful but Tucker can grab his ass once in a while.

It’s like Tucker shut off that overly-sexed part of himself for wash and for a time, wash may have needed that but now it’s getting into ridiculous levels.

Tucker even kept their kissing pretty PG which was starting to get on Washes nerves as much as it melted his heat that Tucker was really trying.

Wash retired to their room early, wanting to ambush and have Tucker to himself. He never wanted sex very often but he was never opposed to heavy petting and a good make out session but he could feel the itch under his skin, building and heating him up day by day. His mind day dreaming about how Tucker would feel inside him, moaning sweet nothings into his ear.

It was enough to get a shiver out of him and to feel his cock just starting to stir to life a bit. He wondered if he should dress in something nice or sexy for it but scratched that idea since they both didn’t really have much choice in what to wear other than pajamas and casual wear.

But Tucker’s shirts were just a bit too big on him. Maybe it would be enough to look sexy? Worth a shot, not like the shirt will stay on very long anyway.

He stripped of his own clothes and put Tucker’s shirt over his head, feeling it fall past his semi-erect cock and slide down his shoulder just the smallest bit. He felt a little silly in it, god he hoped Tucker liked it. Now all he had to do was wait and make sure they had everything they would need within reaching length of the bed.

Wash had gone soft by the time Tucker came back (whatever card game he decided to join must have ran long) It when the doorknob started to rattle as it opened, wash was up in a second, wanting to be able to pull Tucker into the room.

Once the door opened and Wash saw Tucker smile at him wash took his chance, pouncing on him like he were prey.

He pulled him in by his shirt, pushing him against the wall and crashing his lips to his, making sure to force his tongue inside.

Tucker yelled but once wash was kissing him and kissing him good, he moaned into the kiss. It’s been nearly over a year since someone else touched him other than himself. He was so scared of triggering a panic attack from wash he kept anything sexual at arms length, metaphorically.

But wash making out with him like he was a man dying of thirst and tucker was his water, he was hard within six seconds flat, kissing back with just as much vigor.

Wash had to pull away for air, his hands holding Tucker’s shirt tightly in both hands. “I just want to say I truly appreciate you and how supportive you’ve been but I really..” He started kissing Tucker neck, feeling his boyfriend shudder. “Really want you to fuck me.” Tucker was nearly panting.

He can’t count how many fantasies he’s had thinking of wash like this. “Are you sure?” Wash nearly rolled his eyes, resisting the urge when he brought Tucker’s hand to his hard dick, letting his boyfriend feel how much he wants him. “Yes, I’m sure. “ Tucker nodded, gaining confidence and starting to grip and stroke washs cock while his free hand tangled in blonde spikes. “I’m gonna make you feel so good.” Wash was panting, nearly collapsing into tucker as Tucker kissed his neck, gently leading them to the bed, stoping his touching.

Wash fall backwards onto their bed and letting tucker see exactly what he was wearing. Tucker had his own shirt off before he noticed. “Are you wearing my shirt?” Wash blushed. “Yeah.” “That’s too fucking cute.” Tucker said as he leaned down, kissing him. Wash smiled into the kiss but tucker moved away, continuing to strip.

Once he was completely nude, all dark skin and muscles (wash has never been happier for pushing tucker the way he did. The result are breathtaking) he leaned over wash, hand traveling under the shirt, feeling the dips and curves of his abs, kissing his neck.

He whispered into his neck, relishing the feeling of wash shuddering under him. “Gonna make you feel so good.” Wash smiled, wrapping his arms around Tucker’s shoulders. “I know you will.” Tucker lifted off with a small bite to his shoulder, starting to help wash out of his shirt.

Once he was fully naked below him tucker stopped, weight on his knees as he straddled wash hips, staring. Wash had muscles but he had scars, a lot of them. Some tucker could probably place and others he wants to know the story.

He traced a few with his fingers but when he saw wash start to look uncomfortable he leaned down, kissing his lips. “Shut up, I already know what your thinking.” Wash blushed, still feeling self-conscious about his scars. “I know it’s probably a lot, it’s ok if you don’t want to see them.” “Wash, I love you, scars and all and I swear if you put my shirt back on I’m gonna slap you.” Wash chuckled. “If you think you can.”

Tucker grinned, gently pinning washs wrists to the bed. “Is that a challenge Agent Washington?” Wash grinned. “Possibly.” Tucker leaned down, crashing his lips to his. Wash moaned into it, unable to get out of Tucker’s grip on his wrists but also not wanting to. He knew if he needed out that badly he could but right no there’s no place he’d rather be than under Tucker’s skilled hands.

Tucker’s hands went to the neglected cock standing up, a little drop of precome shining on the head as his hand wrapped around it. Wash shuddered, panting. “I have to let you know, I haven’t had sex with a man...or even touched myself since The Meta. I don’t know how long I’ll last.” He panted out, gasping as Tucker’s palm rubbed just right against him.

Tucker smiled as he continued to stroke him slowly. “So what you’re saying is to stop teasing and to fuck you as slow as possible?” Tucker said, giving a little grind of his hips at the end of his sentence, his own cock rubbing against Wash.

Wash blushed and nearly moaned. “Yes…” He panted out. Tucker kissed his lips quickly. “You got it babe.” Tucker got the lube and put some on his two fingers. He brought a finger to wash entrance. “Ready?” Tucker asked, full of honesty and love. Wash nodded. “Yeah.” Tucker kissed his thigh as he brought a finger inside the tight hole.

Wash gasped, the feeling was something odd, it had been well over a year since he’s been a bottom or even had sex. He tried to relax, tucker kissing his thigh and knee certainly helped but then he felt a wet heat around his dick that made him gasp. “Oh god..”

Tucker was thrusting his finger in and out of wash while also making him nice and relaxed and distracted from any pain he may feel. He wants their first time to not only be amazing but as painless as possible.

Wash felt like he was already frying at the seams. Tucker’s mouth on was like heaven, He panted and shuddered, feeling that heat building and white hot pleasure spiking up and down his spine and through his entire being.

Tucker chose this moment to add a second finger which was easier than expected which was good, it meant his multitasking was working. He felt washs hands come down and grip his dreads, tucker adding a little more tongue on the head of the cock inside his mouth, making wash gasp, moaning loudly before bringing a hand to his mouth to quiet his cries.

Tucker couldn’t have that. He pulled off him, taking the hand away form his mouth, wash panting and trying so hard to be quiet. Tucker smirked as he kissed his neck, his finger fucking having slowed down. “Hey, I don’t care who hears us, I want them to know you’re mine. I want to hear how I make you come, want to hear that pretty voice of yours calling my name.” Wash swallowed, panting so loudly he’s pretty sure the room next door could hear him. “Tucker..please…I’m ready..” tucker was gently suckling at his neck. “Not yet, I promise, we’ll get to the good stuff.” Tucker moved, getting the bottle of lube and adding it to a third finger.

Tucker went back, gently inserting three fingers, wash crying out, it hurt but wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle. Tucker stopped, seeing the pain on his boyfriends face. “Need me to stop?” Wash shook his head. “No. I’m ok. Keep going.” Tucker continued, making sure to keep an eye on his boyfriend and how much pleasure he was getting and making sure to stop if there was any more pain. Luckily he found his prostate and rubbed it with each thrust.

Wash cried out, feeling a burst of pleasure engulf him. “Ahh Tucker…fuck..” Tucker smirked as he continued his finger fucking. “Think you’re ready?” “Yes! Fuck! I need you inside me now!” Tucker groaned as Wash came undone. His control he always had during the day peeled away for only tucker to see.

Tucker took his fingers out, getting the condom and rolling it over his length. He added more than enough lube and made sure to have it on hand if they needed more. He’d always liked it wet and sloppy. He angled his slick cock at washs entrance as washs legs came around his waist, holding on tightly.

Tucker was nearly panting and he isn’t even inside him yet. “Ready?” “Yes, please just fuck me already.” Tucker did as he was asked and started to push past the tight ring of muscle, watching his cock disappear inside his boyfriend. Tucker kept himself controlled, letting out a small gasp as he felt the tight heat engulf him.

wash was still. He felt the blunt head of Tucker’s cock push through, it didn’t hurt too much but there was pressure, he felt full. Tucker was flush with his own hips, leaning over him and kissing his neck, letting him adjust. “How you doing? You ok?” Tucker asked. Wash was panting. “Yeah..it would be even better if you moved.” Tucker smirked. “You mean like this?” He said as he brought his hips out and thrust back in. Wash nearly moaned. “Ahh Yes! Please!”

Tucker didn’t waste any time. He started pounding into his boyfriend at a steady but brutal pace. Washs arms came around his head and shoulders, gripping his dreads as wave after wave of pleasure washed over him, making him see Stars and his cock throb with need.

“Ahh fuck…Tucker..please..” tucker leaned down, kissing his neck, suckling hickies into it. “Please what?” Tucker hit his prostate and all thought was nearly gone from his head but the throb from his cock made him whine and writhe. “Touch me.. please.. I need to come..”

tucker panted as his hand came to washs neglected cock, seeing the head wet from all the precome that had built up. Tucker stroked in time with his thrusts, nearly moaning at the sight of wash so whoreish, moaning his name, his blush along his body making his freckles stand out. He couldn’t help himself, he leaned down, crashing his lips to his, still stroking him best he could at this angle.

Wash nearly cried into the kiss as he felt his orgasim take him, white spurts wetting Tucker’s hand and their stomachs. Tucker moaned into his mouth. “Oh fuck baby, you’re so hot.” Wash was panting, feeling boneless but tucker wasn’t done, feeling overstimulated as he moaned with each thrust.

Tucker’s thrusts became more shallow and slower as he came, grunting as he came harder than he had in a long time. Feeling the condom fill with his seed.

They both panted, laying in eachothers arms before tucker pulled out, taking the condom off and tying it up before he could properly throw it away. He brought wash into his arms, feeling him limp and relaxed and nearly asleep. Tucker chuckled softly. “Hey babe, you Ok?” Wash groaned but smiled. “I’m so much more than ok.” Tucker smiled, kissing his blonde hair. “Good.”

A few hours later Tucker had an idea, a romantic idea that he hoped wash would like. Wash was half asleep as tucker threw the condom away, getting dressed in just a sweatpants and hoodie.

Wash saw this, looking at him as he sat up, blanket over his waist. “Tucker?” Tucker smiled over. “I want to go somewhere, get dressed.” Wash gave him a look but complied, getting his own light hoodie on and pajama pants.

Tucker held his hand, leading him through the base. Wash smiled. “Where are we going?” “You’ll see.” Wash felt his heart flutter, he felt like a teenager with Tucker.

They arrived a small cliff outside the base, not far from it itself. Wash smiled at the scenery. The moon was full, the water of the ocean they were near shining and flowers of every sort around them. Tucker then stood in front of wash, taking his head in his hands and kissing him deeply but slowly, wanting to show him everything he feels about this man.

Wash kissed back, holding Tucker’s hands on his face before tucker pulled away. Tucker admired the moonlight in washs blue eyes and soft light on his skin. God, he looked so young, too young to be here but here they are. “Wash, I love you.” Wash smiled. “I love you too.” “And I want you to know I’m never leaving. Not unless you want me too. I know you’re still scared that I’m going to leave or die and leave you alone and I promise, I will do everything in my power to make sure you’re never alone again.”

Wash felt his eyes water as he bit his lips. “God I don’t deserve you.” “You deserve the best and that’s what I plan on giving to you every single day.” Wash let himself melt in Tucker’s arms, his head on his shoulder, feeling him kiss his head. He may have gone through some shit, walked through hell but that walk through hell got him to his heaven and he would do it all over again if it meant staying with tucker.

 

 


End file.
